Tara Bennett – Coleman – Emotional Alchemy
Salepage : Tara Bennett – Coleman – Emotional Alchemy
I just completed listening to Tara Bennett-“Emotional Coleman’s Alchemy” on CD for the first time. Although it was a reduced version of the book, I found it intriguing and look forward to hearing more novels on CD. This book was mostly an experiment for me; I took it out of the library to try something new. The author is a trained psychotherapist and educator. Most of the concepts mentioned in this book were familiar to me. There were, however, a few of fresh tidbits for me. The author’s examples of human conditioning—why they happened in childhood and how they do harm today in adulthood—were the most interesting portion of the book. Now I’ll highlight a few ideas from the book that I thought were essential. The author is responsible for the most of these ideas, however I occasionally extend her ideas into my own. My notes are as follows:
Most people are dominated by emotional conditioning throughout their adult life, which generally begins at an early age as a result of events or people around them. These habits are created while we don’t know any better; they are formed to adjust to some unpleasant sensation or scenario; yet, these emotional habits remain and act for the rest of our life. Many of these habits had positive elements at one time, but they have now become a burden, forcing us to act in ways that drive us away from where we want to be rather than carrying us there.
Our regular conditioning becomes compulsion (probably due to stronger neuron connections in the brain). Then it becomes an instinctive response that we are unaware of. Some of our natural reactions are physical, while others are emotional. There is a sense of loss as we let go of emotional training that no longer benefits us.
The author, Tara, stresses the capacity to notice one’s own thoughts and feelings rather than just responding to them. She provides evidence that there is a quarter-second delay in our brain before we recognize our mental reaction and convert it into a bodily one. During that period, we can check ourselves and ask ourselves if our reaction is genuinely appropriate for the scenario. She urges people to break bad behaviors. It is critical to achieve an inner condition of equanimity, which includes patience, acceptance, and non-action. Tara has been meditating since 1974.
Mindfulness allows us to have little epiphanies about ourselves. Because old habits have a habit of reappearing even after you recognize they are harmful, it is critical to be emotionally vigilant at all times. As a result, simply recognizing your emotional response once will not cure the problem; it will require some time and work before perfect awareness is achieved.
The eastern style of thinking focuses on what is good with us, whereas the western method focuses on what is wrong with us (optimism versus pessimism, perhaps?). Buddhism emphasizes self-compassion and empathy before compassion for others.
Uncomfortable realities. People in our culture keep secrets from one another in order to “protect the other person.” If everyone was conscious, all of this deception and tiny falsehoods would be unnecessary. They usually create more difficulties than they solve. People in America suppress their negative feelings, maybe because they don’t know how to deal with them. They deceive themselves.
Perfectionism saps the joy from life. Perfectionism comprises the fear that you will not have enough time to complete all of your tasks.
Perhaps America is a country of individuals who have an entitlement mentality. They have always had their way, and when anything goes wrong, they become agitated and angry. It’s a juvenile reaction that’s never gone away. Psychologists view entitlement to be a maladaptive mental condition. It no longer serves any function now that we are adults.